opposite marriage
April 20, 2009
Filed under celeb trash, feminism, in the news
Tags: gay marriage, hilton, miss california, miss south carolina, pageant, perez, the iraq
1. YAY PEREZ HILTON!!
2. what the f is opposite marriage?
3. what would mr. california say?
so here’s another pageant barbie that delivered on inanity and incoherence… i could be pissed about what she said, but i’m really more just happy that people are pissed off. what are these girls supposed to be, like, the pinnacle of society? well-rounded, accomplished, well-educated lady-types? “i’m better than you and i look good in the types of clothing that men objectify women in”? i’m kind of stoked that when one of those gets up and says, “i don’t believe gays should marry,” enough people are like WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! that it creates a media stir. she’s evidence that whatever the other 46 states have to say about gays marrying, the definition of PC has been changing.
also, i’m pretty sure conservative answers from barbies shouldn’t and don’t surprise me … who’s dolling up their women and parading them around like commodities? oh yeah, people who think feminism is silly.
even miss south carolina, (poor shmuck…).. if any sense is to be made of that psychobabble, it’s that even though 1/5 of ‘US-Americans’ don’t have maps, we’re still somehow in a position for our education to help the Iraq. it’s like, when in doubt, go with an answer about the supreme awesomeness of America doing something to save the third world.
anyhow, point is, i refuse to condemn a beauty queen for a silly answer when we’re not parading around our men in speedos and tuxes and holding them accountable for adequately answering equally hard-hitting questions. what would a fine, upstanding, accomplished, well-groomed, well-educated man say about gays marrying, and why don’t we care enough to pluck one from each of the states and compare them to each other and rank ‘em? would we piss ourselves if he said “two men shouldn’t marry but if two women would like to share the carnal pleasures, that is hot”? or would we just be like *shrug* oh, that’s just boys… they like what they like… what’re ya gonna do…
worse, we could be like, “well it’s about time someone spoke their mind!” as if this idea is somehow shocking and new.
what would definitely perplex and upset me about this situation is if conservatives/homophobes start talking louder about how she’s so brave for speaking her mind (“even though she was asked the question by a gay man”) and how those who are against gay marriage are condemned and she’s so great for standing up to the gay marriage crowd. yada yada. yeah, ‘cos homophobes have been SO oppressed in this country!! i see comments like “it’s about time someone spoke her opinion! people support gay marriage but condemn those who are against it. such hypocrisy!” and i’m just like are you absolutely freaking serious?! did i fall asleep and wake up in an age when gays are treated as equals in my country? can they marry in all 50 states?? what are these “people” of which you speak? the majority of my country??
oh. no. only it’s only 4 states who legalized it to the soundtrack of bible-tappers wailing about how the sole purpose of marriage is breeding. ”it’s about time” indeed.
poor homophobes.
f’n GROW A PAIR. KWITCHERBITCHIN. and LET GAYS BE GAY.
so there.
i been cut off, and i don’t like it
July 5, 2008 
i had no idea it could be so hard to waste time without internet. the neighbors put an end to our wireless thievery so i haven’t been able to read trashy blogs in FOREVER. which led to the most productive few days i’ve had maybe all summer.
but it also means that if the bar prep folks send out new files or if emails need to be written, i’m crap outta luck.
but that’s why i’m camping out at the one place i know of that has free wifey right now.
not having intarwebs means that it’s been a few days since i’ve experienced any good hearty feminist rage. it’s easy to forget that misogynists exist when you’re just happily quarantined in your home with a pile of lawyerbooks. but then i just HAD to get back online and find out that InTouch magazine totally had a “Top 10 celebrity boobs” list, and now i’m back to feeling “indignant,” which is a gentle word for “ready to choke some bitches.”
we rate boobs. this is the state our society is in. we rate women’s breasts. i keep feeling like every time i fall asleep, the level of idiot behavior we’ll accept from stupid horny men rises a few acres. more and more demeaning idiot behavior becomes more and more acceptable. ….. WTF. it’s like the feminist movement keeps making leaps (enough so that a woman was actually soooooo damn close to candidacy – absolutely undreamt of in years past) – but as it happens, the gap widens and the bar of decency drops (enough so that someone would actually scream shit like “iron my shirt” at her and the news media won’t even call it sexist – it’s “seemingly sexist.”).
somewhere along the way some slutbag douche was like “women care what we think,” and nobody challenged him. and now they all think we care whose breasts they like and wonder how we measure up in comparison or who they think looks best in a fucking bikini. fuck that shit. if they want to separate a woman’s breasts from her identity as a human being, then i invite them to sit at home with a Playboy and a pair of scissors. fuck.
let’s find some unsavory objectification-ish behavior in women and celebrate it with trashy Top 10 lists too. like, “Top 10 men whose gold women would like to dig” or “Top 10 men to use once or twice for free drinks and a forgettable night out.”
no? that’s disrespectful? oh, ok. but rating women by their breasts, that’s totally cool.
the levels of shredding, a guide
June 6, 2008
Filed under celeb trash, music
Tags: ac/dc, angus young, guitar, gwyneth paltrow, lance armstrong, OK magazine, skillz, slash, soloing
after hearing enough people say stuff like “i’m actually a pretty good shredder” and listening to people shred, i thought about something. cool technical guitar skillz (like shredding and others)… sex… the parallels abound. maybe this was already obvious to people but it all just suddenly became clear to me.
already obvious: meaningless shredding where you’re sitting by yourself (possibly at a guitar retailer, possibly pissing off those around you (or, perhaps, impressing them with your prowess). no foreplay and no context (of, say, a song?). you’re just randomly inspired by a hot irresistible urge to run your hands up and down a shaft. you might even be really really good at it. you might make some really good faces while doing it that reflect an inner beast inside you that comes out at no other time in your life than when you feel this good. generally though, for the most part, nobody else is having any fun but you. usually very brief. an act closely related to sitting at home in front of your computer playing the skin flute
and then there’s the stuff jam sessions are made of, which is essentially assisted wanking. compare to random meaningless ass-getting with someone you don’t know very well. you help each other find rock awesomeness (though you might never find it and end up settling for an acceptably good time). the musical relationship and mutual understanding might or might not be there. can be kinda selfish. might even be awesome and great to listen to, but you’re still just making noise to make noise.
and then there’s artful, tasteful, well-timed and well-placed craziness that ties meaningfully into the song and the context of the music and everyone else around you. and it’s golden and beautiful and crazy sweet to listen to. nobody calls this “lovemaking” but the same kind of connections happen. for an extra layer of parallel, i’m pretty sure i’ve heard or read before that a good solo is like sex. you build on the musical thoughts and take them to a distinct peak. slash’s solo in sweet child. what do you do for money honey, ac/dc. speaking of angus young, i hear something like a double O in hell’s bells. at least triple in shake a leg.
— abrupt topic change here =D —
did lance armstrong become the biggest manwhore in the world? i can’t say i’ve kept careful tabs on his ladysqueezes, but the random-person’s perspective is that he had a faithful darling wife who stood by his side while he battled awful terrible cancer, and then as soon as he hit celebrity yellow-wristbands-all-over-the-freaking-world status, he was like “peace, woman” and started hitting celebrities. sheryl crow, [... i don't know what happened in between 'cos i wasn't paying attention, but i know there were others ...], now KATE HUDSON?!
what in the world.
a quote from “OK” magazine – gwyneth paltrow says, “I never think I’m thin enough or that my breasts are big enough.” look what you’ve done, magazines. cosmo. seventeen. LOOK. what you’ve DONE. you’ve made tiny, skinny, makes-toothpicks-feel-fat gwyneth paltrow feel like she’s NOT THIN ENOUGH. and that her perfectly adequate bosoms aren’t big enough. i hate you, entertainmentmedia-enforced body image pressure. and your double standards too. (same issue of “OK,” there’s a list of the 50 hottest men, and there are hairy 50 year olds on the list.)
but it’s ok, “OK.” i still love trashy celeb mags.
