i should be asleep right now!
November 24, 2008
Filed under asian stuff, life things
Tags: alarm clock, asian women, asians, pmo
i left my cell phone in the office last night. lemme tell ya … ain’t no better way to get your ass back to the office early as all balls as racing against your alarm clock in order to get there before the time you would be waking up.
(i guess the alternative is to let your alarm clock do its deal for 45 minutes or an hour or whatever, but, the interminable, unshuttuppable alarm clock with no owner is sooo college, and we left that maneuver behind with the poor choices that caused us to not be in our rooms when our alarms went off in the first place).
(i never did this).
- dealing with rainy morning -
callin’ it like it is:
somebody just walked by and said “i’d say good morning, but it’s actually kind of a shitty morning outside. so, happy shitty morning to ya! =D “
denial:
i’ve pulled the shades down. it doesn’t look poopy outside, it looks like shades.
positive mental outlook (PMO):
at least i’m not outside.
—
random side note… can we stop raising our children to believe that human beings are genetically predisposed to be certain ways based on their race? if one more person tells me that asians are shy and reserved, or that asian women are soft and sweet, i’m going to stick my shy, reserved, soft and sweet little foot in their outgoing, all-american ass.
not that i’m irritated. asians don’t feel anger.
“i need to stu.. i mean, do work”
September 27, 2008 
lame. i’m so used to being a student that i still say “i need to study.” hell to the NO i do not need to study. i “work” now. yeah.
except that i do still need to study. actually typing the above just reminded me to look into finding a comparative law class. as luck would have it, there’s a comparative law seminar offered just down the street from where i live. yay, sort of! if this works, and if i pull off taking a class while working without turning into a surly sleepy bitch, and as a result extract a diploma from Duke that says my name + the letters “LLM,” … i’ll be dang happy. but it’ll be that sort of hateful happy, where getting it doesn’t really give me any true joy because it still means that because of a buncha selfserving clowns who don’t give a shit i’ll have had to spend a lot of time and money that i shouldn’t have had to.
grr.
beta fish are awesome.
the case for dancing
as a girl who could so easily be boxed into one of those types that, whenever there’s dancing, always tries to make the guy dance even though he doesn’t want to, and insists that “of course you’ll enjoy it, you just don’t know it yet / just have to try it,” i would like to point out that urging a guy to dance is motivated by something a lot less selfish than a personal desire to dance, and insisting over a guy’s objections is not out of a shallow or malicious refusal to accept that he doesn’t enjoy it. it’s really not that evil and i’m done with guys who can’t get down complaining about us trying to do so with them.
if girls just straight up want to dance, period, end of story, we can dance anytime. where there’s music, floor space, and other people (and even this is optional), there is no lack of opportunity to dance. if we want to dance with any male body, there is usually no lack of willing partners. and if for some reason there is such a lack, a simple desire to have a male dance partner isn’t usually so much that we’ll go into coercion mode to get you to dance.
asking a specific guy to dance has to do with the guy that’s being asked. we want to dance with YOU. we want to feel the music with YOU. we want to feel how YOU feel the music. we want our bodies to move around with YOURS.
and when that is the case, it makes no difference whether you know how to dance or if you look good doing it. i don’t even know if i can emphasize that enough. knowing how to dance or knowing the ‘right moves’ is completely irrelevant. you’re not going to look stupid because that path has already been paved for you – people have seen “bad” (“unconventional”) dancers. it’s nothing new or interesting. nobody (the girl, your friends, strangers, the bartender) is looking for a performance. even if your friends are like “haha. nice robot, dude” – it’s not like they’re no longer your friends, (seriously), and you get props for DOING it instead of acting like this is the one thing that would destroy your dignity.
the point is that you’re pulling stupid moves together and laughing together, you’re trying new things together, you’re going out on a limb together, you’re LETTING GO together. by dancing together, you’re saying, screw what people think, we’re doing something for ourselves. maybe everybody’s looking, maybe nobody’s looking, maybe they’re only looking ‘cos they think you’re judging them, maybe nobody is so invested in strangers that they’re paying any attention.
nobody really knows how to dance. how about that. (except professional people on tv, and even then). there is no formula that everybody learns that only guys on dates don’t know. i’m *pretty sure* that everybody has been self-conscious about dancing at some point in their lives. and i’m pretty sure there’s nothing more comforting than being able to let go and enjoy yourself with somebody, because that’s the point – you’re comfortable with each other, so it’s ok.
so when you say no, and when you flat out refuse to dance with your girl, EVER… it means more than you just not wanting or liking to dance. it means you won’t even take a chance on some goofy momentary commonplace activity that she enjoys. it means you can’t or won’t give her 3-5 minutes. (i don’t know about most girls in this situation but i’d be satisfied with one song). it *essentially* means that if you’re out with her where there’s dancing, you’re going to block her from doing something because your image, or not looking stupid, or whatever you’re so afraid of, is more important - enough to you that you will take an entire activity off the list of things you’re willing to do with this person.
on the other hand, i can acknowledge that some guys actually, seriously dislike dancing, not just because they’re self-conscious or because they don’t like the music. i can acknowledge that there could be guys that are actually perfectly good dancers but would never choose to because they don’t have fun doing it. and, i would never advocate that a person is somehow obligated to suck it up and do something they hate.
but i just think, when a guy says he won’t dance, we keep pushing because we really wanna be absolutely SURE it’s ‘cos they really just hate it as an act in itself, not because they “tried it once and felt stupid.” because being shot down all the time just because they’re worried they’ll look silly doesn’t feel any good.
and then to go on and rag about how “girls are always trying to make me dance, and i tell them i don’t want to and they’re like yes you do!!” – a girl wants to spend time with you and share a (fun) sweaty physical activity with YOU.
IS THAT SO BAD??
“but i’ll slow dance with a hot girl” indeed. hmph. you should be so lucky.
mother nature’s a single woman too
what happens when candles burn? you know the type that evaporates as you burn it so when you’re done, literally nothing is left but the nub of the wick and the metal thingy it was stuck to? where does it go? after it evaporates, does it rain wax somewhere else in your apartment?
“look mom, a cloud. it’s jar-shaped and smells like Country Linen! … … AHHHH it’s raining waaaaaaax!!”
now if we could just borrow a few ‘candles’ from madame toussauds…
“we just want the male ones. you can have them back if you leave some buckets out. now if you’ll excuse us, the Weather Girls have a song to sing…”
foaming action?!
there’s too many choices in the cleaning-agent aisle.
there, i said it.
this must be the one place in the whole of target/walmart/supermarket where you can’t just be like “um … i like this one.” it’s not like choosing between fruit snacks and sandwich meat. if you pick the wrong one, your tub will still be dirty, or you will have to get down and scrub really hard to get it clean(er), and end up chapping your hands. there might still be bacteria (i don’t know, what happens when you get the one that *doesn’t* say “kills 99% of all bacteria!” ?).
and there’s really no guidance down there. (unless you chance upon a friendly storeperson or random-shopper who knows what’s going on and is willing to help). for complicated things like washers and guitars and mattresses, someone will tell you that it has an option for a double cycle or what “permanent press” means. (if google is not handy 
).
so, here’s the multimillion dollar idea. there should be a touchscreen computer dealy at the end of the cleaning-products aisle that computes what the hell to buy. you just go describe whether you have tiles or porcelain or whether the space between your toilet or your wall is big enough for __ mop. you tell it what you hate worse: mops that push grime around instead of soaking it up, or having to squirt cleaning fluid onto the floor. then it spits out a cleaning regimen, detailing what products are the best fit for you, and if necessary, a step by step guide.
we just have to make sure clorox or lysol or comet don’t jack it and monopolize it. no partisan cleaning advice allowed. except maybe method. method is cool. i trust method.
so yeah. i was so lost today. there were like 7 options for foam sprays that claim to clean tubs (“removes dirt build-up and soap scum!”). i stood there lost and then some lady whizzed by and grabbed one, so i took what she got, ‘cos she looked like the type of lady that had clean tubs.
nine inch nails & duran duran, a study in common melodies
July 27, 2008
Filed under life things, music
Tags: all the love in the world, conservation, duran duran, nine inch nails, so long suicide, water
first things first
“With Teeth” is a beautiful album. thank you Butt for making it available.
so i’m listening to the first song and am instantly hit with this compelling force of Duran. With Teeth came out in 2005 so if anybody borrowed anybody, NIN borrowed DD, ‘cos i knew the DD i was thinking of was from that late 90’s era of albums that didn’t get a lot of attention (for no good reason, by the way!! i’ve said this so many times, but Medazzaland, and arguably Pop Trash as well, were WAY ahead of their time. Medazzaland is hard in all the good ways but still duran, and both albums are just musically surprising. i feel like if people listened to either of them not knowing it’s duran duran, not comparing it to hungry like the wolf, … they both might have done better. i dunno. it’s like uberly 80’s bands are allowed ease into the 90’s with synthy updated pop but as soon as they try to branch it’s like …… omg what happened this is insane, this isn’t them, it’s no good, where’s the classic duran sound?! .. meanwhile people who might like this stuff have already written it off because … well it’s duran duran.).
but i digest.
listen to NIN: “All the Love in the World” (an insanely beautiful song… *sigh*) and DD: So Long Suicide… particularly at 3:04. there it is. this is what drove me nuts for like half an hour today.
being cooped in a room studying for the bar nonstop does not suit me… fortunately i’ve come up with a way to entertain myself…. finding new ways to trick the housekeepers into (1) letting me keep the soft newer towels instead of swapping them out for (what might be) the stiff crunchy ones and (2) not running the dishwasher.
i’m getting pretty good at the hotel-looking towel fold. then i mess up one of the crunchy ones.
i’ve also begun hiding the slightly dirty dishes in the dishwasher to wash by hand later. (ok don’t think i’m weird. i just don’t like the dishwasher ‘cos it uses a lot of water, and when i come back to my room while it’s running, it’s loud and keeps me from retaining the law. see? this makes sense).
does anybody else remember those presentations in elementary school when they hammered into our heads that wasting water was a cardinal sin? ‘cos it apparently worked really well on me. that, and how to read, were my two takeaways from that era. it’s actually kind of bad … if i see somebody at a sink letting water just flow unused into the drain, like, i FEEL the water wasting, and it feels no good. i have to shut it off. (at which point, of course, they suddenly need the water.)
hm. and i thought i wasn’t obsessive compulsive.
Bloggy iphoning!
Ooooh wordpressing from my iPhone!! This is the SHIT.
Apps are to the iPhone what apps were not to facebook.
I’ll just leave it at that.
Here is a picture of Little Man .. sleeping on a book. Aww. Goofy cat. I really want a parrot now. I saw one on tv this afternoon and it made me really want one. Then I talked about it with Nate and now I want one that says “hey dude. Whatcha workin on?”
Hm. I really wanna post some links now but I don’t know how. Maybe you can’t.
Ok but here’s the cat.
not homeless!
it’s official, i have an apartment! 
it’s basically wonderful and i’m happy, and after finalizing everything today i’m already picturing how i’m going to ruin it with my poor sense of interior decorating.
random thoughts about apartment hunting…
1. watch how the staff interacts with the people around them… someone who seems to be friends with everybody she runs into (maintenance, staff, residents) and is well liked makes me feel a lot less like she would just tape multiple eviction notices to my door and ignore my communications if there was ever any confusion about whether i’d paid my rent. (versus, someone who is friendly but seems removed from the community).
2. tell them you have a drum set, see if they freak out.
if they:
- freak out and start saying “no” to every subsequent sentence out of your mouth without listening to the actual words you’re saying: -10 points
- inform you that yes, your neighbors will hear it, and despite seeming a little “um” about it, gets you to fill out paperwork anyway: +3 points
- assure you that while neighbors will hear it, they’re sure you’ll be able to work something out, and then start telling you about how the head of maintenance plays drums in a band that has regular gigs downtown: +20 points
3. a place that is 10 years old should look newer than a place that is 20 years old. a model apartment that was “never lived in” in the 10 yr old complex should look newer than the place that is 20 years old.
riiiiiiidiculous
July 21, 2008
Filed under life things
Tags: extended stay hotels, game cube, shitty bartender
ridiculous awesome:
this extended stay hotel room that i just checked into for bar exam-hibernation. the #1 most ridiculous factor here is simply this. THERE’S GAMECUBE. i haven’t futzed with it enough to know for sure but i think you have to pay to use it. BUT STILL. i don’t know if i’m making myself quite clear. THERE’S GAMECUBE!!!!
*squeeee he hehehehe heheh hehe he*
i’ve never stayed at an extended stay place, so the mere fact that there are two tables instead of one (one for “office” one for “dining”) impresses me a lot. they coulda stopped there and i woulda been like “yeah all right this is nice.” oh but there’s more. a kitchen w/ full size fridge, and a microwave, and a dishwasher, and stoves, and SILVERWARE. i nearly lost it.
not to mention, the dining table is already set for two, w/ silverware laid out on napkin w/ plates, bowls and mugs, and a basket w/ water and POPCORN and a welcome note.
</shameless crowing about my current temporary circumstances>
ridiculous woah:
there’s also a note on the desk that says something to the effect of “we know it’s 105 degrees outside – these are typical memphis summer temperatures. please don’t push the AC down past 72 as this will cause the units to freeze and stop functioning.”
105 is typical memphis temperatures. this is 100billion % true. it’s 102 today. when i wandered outside to pick a rental car, i looked at the toyota avalons, stepped closer, foresaw my flesh cooking on the black leather seats, and ran away.
ridiculous wtf
“… and that’s why i stormed out of this nice little bar downtown.”
so last night nate and i were at this bar. we’d had a few drinks, had had about enough of the singer songwriter that was performing behind us, and were getting ready to go. so i ask Bartender for the check. so he goes to print it out .. and hands it to Nate. which was kinda like, … ok, a little weird, i mean, i asked him for it. if Nate wanted the check, wouldn’t he ask? … but i guess operating under typical societal standards, it’s a fair assumption that the dude would pay. ok.
so, nate hands it to me, i put my card over it and leave it on the counter in front of me. a few minutes pass… he walks by, looks at our check, turns around, starts doing something with napkins, and i’m like, .. ok, .. .. so i give the check a little *nudge nudge* ‘cos it was like, … if you’re not busy, and if you totally just saw the check .. i think i can give it a nudge ‘cos we’ve been waiting.
he’s like oh i’m sorry, takes it, swipes it, and puts it back down in front of NATE.
are you serious?! are you absolutely fucking serious?! oh i’m sorry, i forgot that i was just the girlfriend, pretending to ask the bartender for the check, and pretending to pay with my credit card. but really my boyfriend is the only one you should legitimately be dealing with here. so just go on and keep ignoring me, even as you acknowledge that i am speaking to you, you fuck. i mean, you have to be TRYING to be that ridiculous. when you’re at a restaurant, and someone has the check next to them w/ their credit card, you put it back down next to them, DON’T YOU? instead of being like “oh, it looks like you’re paying, but i’m going to override the appearance you’re putting on and assume that someone else has the money.
it’s such a little thing, but that’s all it takes. by the time he put my credit card back down in front of Nate i basically just reached over and grabbed it, and Bartender was like “oh, i’m sorry to assume.”
you’re fucking sorry to assume? how many times did i indicate to you that i’m speaking and acting for MYSELF? if i’m not speaking to you because >I< want something, what does that make me? the impatient bitchy girlfriend who’s rushing to dig into boyfriend’s plastic?
gross.
