susan boyle susan boyle susan boyle susan boyle
April 22, 2009
Filed under in the news, music
Tags: britain's got talent, cowell, simon, susan boyle
i am starting to get sick of hearing about her. and frankly, the worldwide hype about her, in the manner that it has taken place, is starting to seriously piss me off.
am i out of line? i love hearing her sing, and of course i think it’s remarkable and wonderful that she has rocketed to the top of the world on pluck and guts and awesome talent. is she a beautifully talented singer with a remarkable voice? yes, of course. is she worthy of all the attention she’s getting? of course. should she be on the worldwide stage, melting every heart on this planet? yes!!
but look how we gave it to her. correct me if i’m wrong but the whole POINT of all the hype around her is that this mature, portly woman who would not inspire most adolescent men’s dicks got up on stage, and people expected her to suck, knowing nothing more about her than those surface, appearance-based things. and then BOOM she opens her mouth and the world melts, flowers bloom, angels cry, etc. it’s like everybody’s shocked that she has something to offer. what the f?
the two goons at the side of the stage being like, “betcha didn’t see that comin’ did you!” – why did they say that? what do we know about her that would cause us to not see that coming? and now what is all this fuss over whether she’s been kissed? how did that even come up?
says Amanda Holden, one of the britain’s got talent judges about why she’s not getting a makeover:
“She needs to stay exactly as she is because that’s the reason we love her. She just looks like anybody who could live on your street.
“The minute we turn her into a glamour-puss is when it’s spoilt. That can perhaps come later when she’s signed the album deal and conquered America.
“For now we’ll keep her exactly as she is because that’s why we’ve all fallen in love with her. I think it’s the underdog thing. It’s somebody who’s looked after her mother all her life.”
1. why are we talking about whether she needs a makeover in the first place?
2. it’s spoilt when you acknowledge that the reason you love her is ‘cos she looks like someone you wouldn’t expect to bust out mad singing chops? last i checked, vocal cords have very little to do with a person’s outer shell.
i feel like the very nature of all this hype about her is a slap in the face of people who don’t look like christina freaking aguilera or [what] britney [used to look like]. many mediocre-to-good looking people get up on shows like that and sing as well as she did, but we’re not SHOCKED when they do well. many ok-looking, young-ish people get up and perform arguably as well as susan’s performance, but simon rips each of them a new one. i can understand if part of the obsession is because she managed to get so old with such a talent without being ‘discovered,’ lending to some of the low expectations (“if nobody noticed her til now, why should we”). but there again, it’s such a bizarre, unreasonably low expectation. MILLIONS of artists of all shape, size, age, beauty and talent go undiscovered every day. i don’t think age makes the shock that she can do this less insulting. i can’t get over feeling like we’re all saying “oh, susan, we love you even though you’re old and look like you’ve been punched with a sack of fish. now men who would have been repulsed by you before want to kiss you.” i mean i guess ultimately it worked out fine for susan, but geez.
can we love her without obsessing about physical appearance?
oh and don’t get me started on that website made for tossing around names of the porn she’d be in if she were in one…
the case for dancing
as a girl who could so easily be boxed into one of those types that, whenever there’s dancing, always tries to make the guy dance even though he doesn’t want to, and insists that “of course you’ll enjoy it, you just don’t know it yet / just have to try it,” i would like to point out that urging a guy to dance is motivated by something a lot less selfish than a personal desire to dance, and insisting over a guy’s objections is not out of a shallow or malicious refusal to accept that he doesn’t enjoy it. it’s really not that evil and i’m done with guys who can’t get down complaining about us trying to do so with them.
if girls just straight up want to dance, period, end of story, we can dance anytime. where there’s music, floor space, and other people (and even this is optional), there is no lack of opportunity to dance. if we want to dance with any male body, there is usually no lack of willing partners. and if for some reason there is such a lack, a simple desire to have a male dance partner isn’t usually so much that we’ll go into coercion mode to get you to dance.
asking a specific guy to dance has to do with the guy that’s being asked. we want to dance with YOU. we want to feel the music with YOU. we want to feel how YOU feel the music. we want our bodies to move around with YOURS.
and when that is the case, it makes no difference whether you know how to dance or if you look good doing it. i don’t even know if i can emphasize that enough. knowing how to dance or knowing the ‘right moves’ is completely irrelevant. you’re not going to look stupid because that path has already been paved for you – people have seen “bad” (“unconventional”) dancers. it’s nothing new or interesting. nobody (the girl, your friends, strangers, the bartender) is looking for a performance. even if your friends are like “haha. nice robot, dude” – it’s not like they’re no longer your friends, (seriously), and you get props for DOING it instead of acting like this is the one thing that would destroy your dignity.
the point is that you’re pulling stupid moves together and laughing together, you’re trying new things together, you’re going out on a limb together, you’re LETTING GO together. by dancing together, you’re saying, screw what people think, we’re doing something for ourselves. maybe everybody’s looking, maybe nobody’s looking, maybe they’re only looking ‘cos they think you’re judging them, maybe nobody is so invested in strangers that they’re paying any attention.
nobody really knows how to dance. how about that. (except professional people on tv, and even then). there is no formula that everybody learns that only guys on dates don’t know. i’m *pretty sure* that everybody has been self-conscious about dancing at some point in their lives. and i’m pretty sure there’s nothing more comforting than being able to let go and enjoy yourself with somebody, because that’s the point – you’re comfortable with each other, so it’s ok.
so when you say no, and when you flat out refuse to dance with your girl, EVER… it means more than you just not wanting or liking to dance. it means you won’t even take a chance on some goofy momentary commonplace activity that she enjoys. it means you can’t or won’t give her 3-5 minutes. (i don’t know about most girls in this situation but i’d be satisfied with one song). it *essentially* means that if you’re out with her where there’s dancing, you’re going to block her from doing something because your image, or not looking stupid, or whatever you’re so afraid of, is more important - enough to you that you will take an entire activity off the list of things you’re willing to do with this person.
on the other hand, i can acknowledge that some guys actually, seriously dislike dancing, not just because they’re self-conscious or because they don’t like the music. i can acknowledge that there could be guys that are actually perfectly good dancers but would never choose to because they don’t have fun doing it. and, i would never advocate that a person is somehow obligated to suck it up and do something they hate.
but i just think, when a guy says he won’t dance, we keep pushing because we really wanna be absolutely SURE it’s ‘cos they really just hate it as an act in itself, not because they “tried it once and felt stupid.” because being shot down all the time just because they’re worried they’ll look silly doesn’t feel any good.
and then to go on and rag about how “girls are always trying to make me dance, and i tell them i don’t want to and they’re like yes you do!!” – a girl wants to spend time with you and share a (fun) sweaty physical activity with YOU.
IS THAT SO BAD??
“but i’ll slow dance with a hot girl” indeed. hmph. you should be so lucky.
ROCK OF AGES
ohhhhhhhhhh DAMN!!!
def leppard was fucking AWESOME.
i am in a daze. that was the bestest concert i have seen in a looooong time.
YAY! 
joan jett was also amazing.
i’m too much in a rock stupor to really say much more about that for now. basically anything i would say would involve a lot of squealing and burbling gushy stuff about how amazing they were. which they were.
i chased the evening of rock amazingness with a stroll down the crazy awesome strip of venues and bars and things and stuff in downtown nashville. which was awesome. it was really cool. lotta country. (there being the “wow, really?” moment of this entry).
rather than brave the crowds in the bars on the main strip i found this place called Rock Bar (and the grand prize for creative name goes to…..!). (but i mean, that’s exactly the sort of place i’d feel the most at home… a place called ‘rock bar’ where the name of the joint looks like it was scribbed onto a chalkboard which was then duly hung up above the door. not too many people inside, slightly older crowd, with a band playing songs with lots of bendies).
it was cool.
i weirded out a pack of ladies though. that’s something i’m still a little curious about. having just turned down a drink from someone by saying i didn’t want one, i didn’t wanna then go ahead and buy myself a drink (i know, not like it matters, but less conversation is better). so i went looking for an ashtray, and found one by these smoking ladies (hahahaha). but then they started giving me weird looks. repeatedly. and it’s like …. what. am i offending you just by standing here? you’re in A BAR. people will stand near you who aren’t in your posse, ok?? i can understand if i were some creepy dude, or even, just a random regular dude, standing near your gaggle of goose hens, but i’m just some girl, ok, and you’re crowded around the closest of the only two ashtrays in this whole joint, so, grow a pair and lighten up.
i mean, what were they afraid of? that’s what’s hilarious to me. i just don’t GET it when middle aged women are afraid of me. it’s like being afraid of a rolly polly. what’s it gonna do. really. i bet they don’t even have teeth. what misguided ideas did you pick up from some creepy older women’s magazine about rolly pollies and people like me that makes you think it’s weird when a fellow lung blackener wants to not throw her ash and butts on the ground?
hah.
i’m scary
nine inch nails & duran duran, a study in common melodies
July 27, 2008
Filed under life things, music
Tags: all the love in the world, conservation, duran duran, nine inch nails, so long suicide, water
first things first
“With Teeth” is a beautiful album. thank you Butt for making it available.
so i’m listening to the first song and am instantly hit with this compelling force of Duran. With Teeth came out in 2005 so if anybody borrowed anybody, NIN borrowed DD, ‘cos i knew the DD i was thinking of was from that late 90’s era of albums that didn’t get a lot of attention (for no good reason, by the way!! i’ve said this so many times, but Medazzaland, and arguably Pop Trash as well, were WAY ahead of their time. Medazzaland is hard in all the good ways but still duran, and both albums are just musically surprising. i feel like if people listened to either of them not knowing it’s duran duran, not comparing it to hungry like the wolf, … they both might have done better. i dunno. it’s like uberly 80’s bands are allowed ease into the 90’s with synthy updated pop but as soon as they try to branch it’s like …… omg what happened this is insane, this isn’t them, it’s no good, where’s the classic duran sound?! .. meanwhile people who might like this stuff have already written it off because … well it’s duran duran.).
but i digest.
listen to NIN: “All the Love in the World” (an insanely beautiful song… *sigh*) and DD: So Long Suicide… particularly at 3:04. there it is. this is what drove me nuts for like half an hour today.
being cooped in a room studying for the bar nonstop does not suit me… fortunately i’ve come up with a way to entertain myself…. finding new ways to trick the housekeepers into (1) letting me keep the soft newer towels instead of swapping them out for (what might be) the stiff crunchy ones and (2) not running the dishwasher.
i’m getting pretty good at the hotel-looking towel fold. then i mess up one of the crunchy ones.
i’ve also begun hiding the slightly dirty dishes in the dishwasher to wash by hand later. (ok don’t think i’m weird. i just don’t like the dishwasher ‘cos it uses a lot of water, and when i come back to my room while it’s running, it’s loud and keeps me from retaining the law. see? this makes sense).
does anybody else remember those presentations in elementary school when they hammered into our heads that wasting water was a cardinal sin? ‘cos it apparently worked really well on me. that, and how to read, were my two takeaways from that era. it’s actually kind of bad … if i see somebody at a sink letting water just flow unused into the drain, like, i FEEL the water wasting, and it feels no good. i have to shut it off. (at which point, of course, they suddenly need the water.)
hm. and i thought i wasn’t obsessive compulsive.
she did WHAT?
ok i don’t have a lot of time, but i felt the need to squirt these random thoughts into cyberspace:
1. hannah montana is the US’s hello kitty.
2. WHY are random manufactured celebrities doing music!! paris hilton?!?! heidi montag?!??!?!! and then real actresses start doing the same overproduced crappy sounding “i’m a girl, listen to me ’sing’ about girl problems” songs over the same overly simple electronic drumbeats as the original clowns. (hayden panettiere?!?!??!)
my sources (aka alexa) says next up for heidi is a full length christian album of the same aforementioned genre.
gross.
idols, pirates
June 19, 2008
Filed under feminism, in the news, music
Tags: american idol, amsterdam, asian moms, eliot spitzer, human rights, human trafficking, sex trafficking, shanghai, super girl, sweden, the US thinks itself flawless
the world’s biggest karaoke competition finally made it to china. ironically.
watching these clips makes me miss being in China (or Taiwan)… there’s something about hearing Mandarin as the primary language of a place (even if it’s a box on my screen) that i didn’t realize i missed.
what cracks me up is, if you find some videos of horrible contestants and watch the judge’s comments, you realize that all along, Simon has been talking like every asian mom. asians are AMAZING at criticism. AMAZING. asian-americans who fit my blanket stereotype regularly hear worse things from their moms for getting B’s instead of A’s than cowellman could ever dish for singing poorly. the only difference is, Simon gives praise too once in a while.
i’m definitely thankful for mom’s vigilance and discipline.. it made failure and a life of ruin nearly impossible, at least while i was under her watch.. and, if i should ever try out for american idol, my face will not crumple on national television when simon pees on my dreams.
so, human trafficking. still an issue that makes me mad.
an economist article about it – an updated report by the state dept just went out, detailing the current horrors of trafficking around the world. as usual, it lists the guilty countries by tiers, with 3 being the worst. and, as the economist duly points out, the US is not on this list. ‘cos we’re … above judgment, somehow.
NYTimes compilation of human trafficking articles – yeah, so, trafficking happens in the US too.
the Kristof article about how we should follow the Swedish model of combating sex trafficking is interesting. basically, targeting supply isn’t working, legalizing prostitution doesn’t work because it makes the place where it’s legalized some kinda sex industry mecca, not necessarily any safer than if it were all underground in the first place. (see: Amsterdam). Swedes were criminalizing the customers instead, which seems to sort of work.
yeah. i mean, think about why this is a problem in the first place, why it even exists. because horny men want exotic, young pussy. and they are willing to pay. as long as there is demand -somewhere-, it’s still going to exist.
1. you can’t trust anyone – not the police (frequently complicit in trafficking, in certain countries), govt officials, even the biggest proponents of harsher sex industry laws (eliot spitzer?!?!). some of the loudest male feminists (on any scale) have the weirdest most messed up views of women (or worse, are lying poser feminists).
2. the girls can be trafficked wherever. cost is not really an issue, you just make them pay you back with the money of the customers themselves. how is this any different from, say, amazon.com. as long as there is a customer somewhere who wants something, the response of the increasingly globalized world is, “if you have money, you can have it.”
so basically… for a problem that by definition is indifferent to national borders, ANY localized response is going to be insufficient. legalization in one country makes it a flourishing hot spot. criminalization of demand in another country only makes people look for it elsewhere.
and the US sucks for not putting itself on the list.
tornados give you salmon?
June 12, 2008
Filed under in the news, life things, music, web stuff
Tags: bush, def leppard, dieting, fat, john cusack, mccain, moveon.org, nine lives, salmonella, surgery, tomatoes, weight loss
it was a sad moment when i called mom to tell her about the tomatoes and realized i’d forgotten how to say “tomato” in chinese.
“tornados? i think there was a tornado watch in longmont but we’re ok here…”
“no, no! tomatoes! tomatoes!! .. … um. .. they’re red and round and you eat them …”
but anyway here’s a link that says what tomatoes are cool and which ones are pulpy little salmonella-grenades. basically, grape tomatoes and cherry tomatoes are ok (as are, um, grapes and cherries), as well as the ones still on the vine. roma and round tomatoes are not ok.
i knew it. a specimen that could not decide if it was fruit or vegetable should not be trusted.
i really like this blog entry about weight loss and carnie wilson.
also, dude, watch this moveon.org video with john cusack. it rocks. let’s not contribute to another four years of “bush.”
finally, this video below made me super happy. nothing like fancy dancing set to def leppard. it made my brain hurt a little bit. cuban motion + a feathery tail + joe elliot’s husky vocals confused my senses. but i won’t say it didn’t please me immensely 
bull durham
June 11, 2008
Filed under life things, music
Tags: disturbed, domo, green room, hot topic, indestructible
<3 durham. <3 my friends so much. after even just a few weeks away it was incredibly nice to come back and see them. i’m just sad i’m leaving again so soon… would definitely love a few more days.
it’s like a vacation birthday they spoil me… “well, it’s your night out / it’s your visit … what do you want to do most while you’re here?”
don’t know how i got so lucky.
so, picked up the new Disturbed album at Hot Topic today. wasn’t expecting to, but there it was, on sale for ten bucks, (could even get a shirt for another $10, and the storedude tried really hard to make it happen, but they don’t seem to make a lot of Disturbed shirts for people my size). it. is. AWESOME. i made karen listen and she concurs. artful noise.
a reviewer on Amazon says, “Indestructible is a disk of hard rocking, melodic music with terrific vocals by David Draiman that can be understood all the way through.”
i don’t know if being understood all the way through is the only benchmark that the vocals can boast, but that is definitely awesomely true.
karen and i are trying to decide if every song sounds the same on this album. i vote no… definitely a distinct sound, and yeah vocalists with a very distinct style might have a tendency to sound the same from song to song, … but the cool thing about this album is that it’s still melodic and orchestrated in such a way that you can really hear different musical concepts throughout.. each song feels different.. (i mean, it’s still loud punchy Disturbed all the way through…).
the levels of shredding, a guide
June 6, 2008
Filed under celeb trash, music
Tags: ac/dc, angus young, guitar, gwyneth paltrow, lance armstrong, OK magazine, skillz, slash, soloing
after hearing enough people say stuff like “i’m actually a pretty good shredder” and listening to people shred, i thought about something. cool technical guitar skillz (like shredding and others)… sex… the parallels abound. maybe this was already obvious to people but it all just suddenly became clear to me.
already obvious: meaningless shredding where you’re sitting by yourself (possibly at a guitar retailer, possibly pissing off those around you (or, perhaps, impressing them with your prowess). no foreplay and no context (of, say, a song?). you’re just randomly inspired by a hot irresistible urge to run your hands up and down a shaft. you might even be really really good at it. you might make some really good faces while doing it that reflect an inner beast inside you that comes out at no other time in your life than when you feel this good. generally though, for the most part, nobody else is having any fun but you. usually very brief. an act closely related to sitting at home in front of your computer playing the skin flute
and then there’s the stuff jam sessions are made of, which is essentially assisted wanking. compare to random meaningless ass-getting with someone you don’t know very well. you help each other find rock awesomeness (though you might never find it and end up settling for an acceptably good time). the musical relationship and mutual understanding might or might not be there. can be kinda selfish. might even be awesome and great to listen to, but you’re still just making noise to make noise.
and then there’s artful, tasteful, well-timed and well-placed craziness that ties meaningfully into the song and the context of the music and everyone else around you. and it’s golden and beautiful and crazy sweet to listen to. nobody calls this “lovemaking” but the same kind of connections happen. for an extra layer of parallel, i’m pretty sure i’ve heard or read before that a good solo is like sex. you build on the musical thoughts and take them to a distinct peak. slash’s solo in sweet child. what do you do for money honey, ac/dc. speaking of angus young, i hear something like a double O in hell’s bells. at least triple in shake a leg.
— abrupt topic change here =D —
did lance armstrong become the biggest manwhore in the world? i can’t say i’ve kept careful tabs on his ladysqueezes, but the random-person’s perspective is that he had a faithful darling wife who stood by his side while he battled awful terrible cancer, and then as soon as he hit celebrity yellow-wristbands-all-over-the-freaking-world status, he was like “peace, woman” and started hitting celebrities. sheryl crow, [... i don't know what happened in between 'cos i wasn't paying attention, but i know there were others ...], now KATE HUDSON?!
what in the world.
a quote from “OK” magazine – gwyneth paltrow says, “I never think I’m thin enough or that my breasts are big enough.” look what you’ve done, magazines. cosmo. seventeen. LOOK. what you’ve DONE. you’ve made tiny, skinny, makes-toothpicks-feel-fat gwyneth paltrow feel like she’s NOT THIN ENOUGH. and that her perfectly adequate bosoms aren’t big enough. i hate you, entertainmentmedia-enforced body image pressure. and your double standards too. (same issue of “OK,” there’s a list of the 50 hottest men, and there are hairy 50 year olds on the list.)
but it’s ok, “OK.” i still love trashy celeb mags.
oh gibson, how do i love thee
let me count the ways.
21 Groundbreaking Women in Music
An Incomplete Tribute to Unsung Women in Music, Part II
awesome:
and, my SG special is pretty much the awesomest thing i own.
